Title: Thinking of Thoughts - Jake's side
Author: Amy
Email: TheSkulls56745@aol.com
Rating: PG, maybe G
Category: J/H
Disclaimer: I dont own any of these characters. I wish I did own
Hammie or Jake tho!
Summary: Jake's thoughts
Spoilers: Through Cinderbella
Dedication: To all you Jahammers & Jaklusters!
Author's Note: Ignore the typos, its 8:04 AM and I have to be ready
for practice in a half hour. Otherwise, enjoy! Oh yeah, its the other
story to Thinking of Thoughts.
Feedback. Yes please! I'd appreciate any? :)
I've always wanted to meet a guy. An understanding, thoughtful,
intelligent guy. And thats what he is. But I can't have him.
At first, I thought coming here would just be to get my mother's
attention. Not for a guy. I never even counted on falling for
someone. Actually, I didnt even consider that at all.
Now I have. And I can't tell him how I feel. I have to conceal my
secret for as long as possible.
I can still picture the first time I spoke to him. It was the first
time I'd ever said anything to another male student. But somehow,
right then, I knew he was the one. I slipped too, kissed him, and now
he ignores me most of the time.
Every now and then, he catches my eye for a second, but he looks
away. I stare at him, often, feeling miserable as if I have been
denied something. Well, I have actually. I wonder if my feelings are
betrayed in my eyes.
Once in awhile, we hang around together. No one else seems to like
us. He, being the dean's son, and I, the silent girlish guy.
Except, except this girl named Lena. I think she fancied both of us.
According to her, I looked like her old boyfriend. Was that good or
bad? But I didn't really like her, and I don't know if Hamilton did
or not. She kissed me, but I told her I was in love with someone
else. In truth, I was... am...
I asked Hamilton if he wanted to go to the Cotollion with me. Friends
to him, but more to me. He said yes. Then, along came Lena. She asked
him too. He said a yes to that. I guess he didn't want to look weird.
Sometimes I glance into his eyes, and see bewilderment and confusion.
At first, I wasn't going to go, but after sobbing for awhile, I
decided that wasn't the way to go. So I got dressed. I saw him with
Lena. He left her, so I told him I needed to talk. He followed me to
the bathroom, and kissed me! HE KISSED ME! But I ruined it. I
couldn't keep hurting him, couldn't let him think he was gay anymore.
So I told him. I told him I was a girl. I had to. And he walked out.
The End